95 HOURS OF SHADING

Art making has always been my medicine, all the way back to when I was young. It brought me into an inner stillness, a sanctuary where I could be in my clear presence of being, free from the projections of the world.

This year, I’ve felt more disconnected from my spirit than ever. My inner space has been overrun by intrusive thoughts, fueled by censorship of my art, but also by the state of the world.

Why am I doing this?
What’s the point in creating and sharing if it will just get censored?
I worked so hard for 12 years, only to watch it vanish overnight.
Is this a dead end? Is it time to give up?

For the 95 hours it took to draw this piece, that negative voice looped in my mind.

But here’s where the story turns. Each day, as I stayed with the restlessness, my attention would soften, become more spacious. Stillness would emerge, like a flower blooming in dissonance. I felt the joy of discovery as the drawing came to life. I felt freedom from the loop. That is the medicine of making art.

And this is exactly what this piece is about. It’s called The Forest Within.
In the mythic garden of the mind, fear and beauty grow side by side. Turn toward the dark, specters of fear and anxiety emerge. Turn toward the light, tranquility unfolds.

So here’s the question:
If your thoughts were a forest, what’s growing wild from your attention right now?
Is there something you’d rather be tending to instead?